The Perspective on Having Kids

By Chaya Benyamin
 Unsplash / elizabeth-tsung
*updated 2018
“Be fruitful and multiply” is one of the Bible’s first directions to mankind, and until recently, humanity has followed suit without question. Childlessness in America and across the West is at an all-time high.  More and more men and women are opting not to become parents – a trend which calls the conventional path of becoming parents in the first place into question.
Below, we’ll explore three reasons to give parenthood a second thought, and three reasons to keep on starting families.


Less is More


It’s irresponsible to bring children into a world with an uncertain future.

The world is in bad shape. Global warming threatens food security and economic prosperity, and fuels conflict. At present, war is widespread, from the Chad Basin to the Mediterranean to the Arabian Peninsula. Political, gender, and economic inequality pervade every society. With no answers to these quagmires readily available, or even the promise of breathable air, how can we justify introducing more humans into our collective calamity?


Life is plenty fulfilling without children.

Many of humanity’s most inspiring leaders were not parents. Jesus, Gandhi, and Oprah (among countless others) prove that parents do not hold the monopoly on self-actualization or contribution to society. In fact, most achievements which advance society have little or nothing to do with parenting skills, as Susan B. Anthony demonstrated in leading women to the vote in 1926, and as Nikola Tesla proved through his many inventions. Whether these figures chose to forego becoming parents in order to dedicate themselves to the betterment of society or simply for lack of want, they show that fulfillment is available in equal measure to parents and non-parents alike.


Children require a tremendous amount of resources.

Parenting is an enormous responsibility. The average American family spends between $12,000 and $14,000 each year to raise one child. Multiply that by 18 years, and you’ve bought a house. This is to say nothing of the physical and emotional demands of child-rearing. Parents worry more and sleep less; the latter of which can have significant consequences on health, productivity, and even income. When one looks objectively at the material and emotional resources required to responsibly care for a child, passing on parenting is a completely logical conclusion.


The More the Merrier


Parents are more productive and live longer.

It’s easy to understand how the challenges of parenting – sleep-deprivation, increased worry, and less time and money for self-care, to name a few – might contribute to a shorter lifespan. But somewhat counterintuitively, a number of studies have shown that people with children live longer than those without them. In addition to enjoying longer lives, mothers in particular seem to receive a competitive edge with regard to workplace productivity when they have children. One writer for Quartz calls motherhood “the ultimate efficiency hack” and explains that a 30-year review of productivity of female economists (mothers and non-mothers alike) revealed that mothers outperformed their childless counterparts. Not a bad trade for a few (hundred) sleepless nights!


Children are an excellent contribution to society.

Children are quite literally the hope of the future. Those without children who lament the price society pays to send them to school forget that those children will later be the scientists who patent new technology to treat their ailments, the doctors, nurses and caregivers who’ll administer them, and the bankers who will help them to finance it all. China’s infamous one-child policy, initially intended to curb its population bulge, has revealed itself to be short-sighted, as China now struggles to cope with a large aging population and a lack of youngsters to support them. More than ensuring safe passage of the elderly and securing the future, children anchor the economy. The US Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the Educational Services sector accounts for nearly 3.6 million jobs. With education expanding in every country on the planet, children propel the movement of trillions of dollars in the global economy.


Children bring out the best in us.

Any parent can testify to the intense admiration young children have for their parents – they are wowed by the way you effortlessly remove candy wrappers and are dazzled by how you tie shoes. Children (well, the little ones, at least) believe their parents know all and that their kisses have magical healing powers. And guess what – being admired makes parents want to be admirable. Parenting asks men and women to model the behavior they’d like to see in their children. Parents look both ways when crossing the street, share, eat their vegetables, and (attempt) to speak kindly to their partners. Children promote emotional growth by reminding their parents that life is not solely about them, and by shining a light on their parents’ weaknesses and therefore providing an opportunity to improve upon them.


Bottom lines: While there is no clear-cut evidence to suggest that parenting leads to a happier or more meaningful life, children bring out many positive sides of humanity. What would you say to a friend who is considering having kids? Would you have children?

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